I Miss You, Sarah Hammond
Tuesday, November 29, 2011I learned today that my old grad-school buddy Sarah Hammond died last night; people I know are presuming it was suicide. She was a visiting professor at William & Mary and soon to be a major star in the constellation of historians of American religion. She was a splendid religion nerd, one of the great fans of denominational trivia, a devoted cat-loving lesbian, a sweet and kind and Christian person. I miss her.
I did not know Sarah well, in the sense that I never met her parents, can't remember if she had siblings, and had not stayed in touch with her over the past few years. But she and I were close in the sense that whenever we did see each other, we picked up right where we left off. We shared a sensibility. We both had a perverse interest in minor religious schisms, and Sarah's interest was even deeper and more perverse than mine. If I wanted to talk Freewill Baptists vs. Footwashing Baptists vs. Pentecostal Baptists (yes, they exist), Sarah was the person I would turn to. We both were liberal/leftish types who could get very impatient with other liberal/leftish types. We both were Yalies of the BA/PhD lifer variety who could be very frustrated with our alma mater but didn't like others picking on it. We both appreciated the broad humor of stereotypes (Sarah could always be counted on for a derisive comment about lesbian culture). We both were invested in our own religions (hers liberal Christianity, mine Judaism) but were not grave or somber about religion (and could easily and often roll our eyes at "spirituality"). Sarah was smart and mirthful and did not take herself too seriously. When we got together, we would gossip, or complain about dating women, or talk about Presbyterian polity.
Where am I going to find someone else like that?
If her parents ever read this blog post, I hope they know that above all Sarah (who talked about you often) seemed like a really well raised kid. She seemed eminently sane and stable, and I find her death equally mysterious and sad. Maybe that shows I did not know her so well. But what I do know is that she was swell, and she was bound for a life of important scholarship, and of deep and lasting friendship with so many of those lucky enough to know her. She would have been a great mom. I bet she was a great daughter.
UPDATE, 9:06pm: There is this remembrance too.
Reader Comments (31)
Thanks very much for this, Mark. It's very hard to take in the news right now.
Sarah was a truly wonderful and uniquely amazing soul. She will be missed dearly. Oh, Sarah. Rest in peace you sweet, beautiful friend.
Thank you. This is good.
Oh my. Such a pity and such a moving text.
Sarah was the best damn reader around. I always admired her ability to read daily newsfeeds from Focus on the Family and its ilk -- she subscribed to seemingly all the fundy right-wing list serves.and was always the first person to know about the latest scandal. I will miss her terribly.
Thanks Mark. You have captured something here. Everyone she touched is reeling right now, and it helps (just a little) to read this.
Sarah was a beautiful human being and remains a beautiful soul.
I am Sarah's father. Thank you so much for writing this. We all miss her. You did know her well. And reading this helps.
Sarah! What a loss. I stayed at her place when I visited Yale, and instantly found a kindred spirit. As Gunti said, she was a beautiful, wonderful person.
Still remember conversations with Sarah as we rode the Yale bus. What intensity and what humor. She is missed. Thanks for these words of memory.
It means so much to me as Sarah's mom to hear the stories of Sarah's friendships with others who knew her well. I remember my frustration when she was in high school at the endless research she was doing on a Mark Twain paper (microfilm at the college library, every book there, etc.). Her English teacher wanted her to finish and turn it in, but she sought and secured an extension. I finally said, with some exasperation, "Sarah, WHEN do you research EVERYTHING on a topic? At WHAT POINT in your education is that required?" "I don't know," she replied. "Undergraduate school?" "No, Sarah," "Graduate school?" "Not exactly, Sarah," I said. Finally, I said, "WHEN YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUr Ph.D. DISSERTATION!" The stories we could tell! A Celebration of her Life is coming up at the end of December in Oberlin. I hope all her friends who can make it will come. Contact us for more information.
Mark--
Thanks for this lovely tribute. I lost a sibling to depression (and suicide, if that was in fact what happend).
To the Hammond family, I unfortunately can have some semblance of what you might be going through. I still am angry at my brother. I wake up at nights in rage. Why couldn't he have reached out to me and others more? Why couldn't he just come home and let us take care of him for a while? But mostly this anger is directed at me, I know. I should have loved him more, spent more time with him, gone to more of his shows (he was like Sarah a rising star in his own field of broadway acting).
I've learned in the past 8 years that anger is worthless. Whenever this comes, I do what Mary shared with us this morning. I remember him and the times we spent together (like watching him conk his hair before school, he having African American roots he was desperately trying to hide in our rural upstate town. I too tried to conk, but only burned my scalp! He laughed and laughed as I ran to the sink in utter desperation to get the chemicals out).
I can only offer prayers and love to Sarah and her family. I can also honor her by sharing with my students her important contribution to our field. That is the best way I plan on honoring her.
We at the Lake Institute on Faith & Giving at the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University were both shocked and saddened to learn of Sarah’s untimely death. She was a bright young scholar and we were looking forward with joyful anticipation to the future contributions she would be making to the study of religion and philanthropy. We were honored to have her as a former Lake Doctoral Dissertation Fellow. Our thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends.
Thank you for this tribute. I work at the College of William & Mary, only for a little less than 2 years now. I did not know Sarah, and yet I feel a great sense of loss with her passing. I am part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community on campus; I don't know if Sarah ever interacted with the LGBT community here, but I do know from what I learned in your blog that her research was so very important. My most sincere condolences to Sarah's family and all who knew her. I know she will be missed by the students whose lives she touched.
Thank you for this tribute. Sarah and I were friends for a long time, and I am in shock that she is no longer here. As others have said, she was such a kind, generous, and intelligent person. I keep thinking of her (and her laugh), and I'm so sorry for her untimely death. It is such a loss both for her and for all of us.
I was a student of Sarah Hammond at William and Mary. Her death deeply hurt and disturbed me--particularly because my peers and I only found out about it when she didn't show up to class this Monday. Professor Hammond never missed a class. She was an enthusiastic, knowledgeable, funny, and kind young woman. As one of the few female professors I've had at this school, she was both a role model and an older figure I could relate to. I was supposed to be in her class next semester, and I was looking forward to it more than any other class. She was a brilliant and beautiful mind, and I know that even though she was only here for a short while, her students and the Religious Studies department mourn her loss.
Thank you Mark. I just heard, and don't know what to do. My love to all her family and friends.
I am tremendously saddened by her death. I remember her, many years ago, as being heartfelt, sincere and genuine. She was brightness.
I met Sarah at Oberlin a couple times through her parents who ran/sponsored one of the religious groups. She was an amazing from from equally amazing parents. I'm shocked and saddened to hear of her loss. My sincere condolences go out to everyone.
Thank you Mark! As someone who knew her from the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America, I can say that she will be sorely missed. And yes, she has great parents and two beautiful sisters. As you can tell from their comments, you knew her well.
Peace to you!
Noa - as a friend of Sarah, it's a tremendous gift to hear from one of her students. Your description - "She was an enthusiastic, knowledgeable, funny, and kind young woman." - captures the same things I've been saying about her. She seemed relatively withdrawn lately. Hearing people talk about her depression, I've been worried that her humor and spirit might have gotten completely lost in it. Hearing you describe what made her Sarah shows me that wasn't the case. It means so much to hear it. It's brought me to tears - the first time anyone's words about her have done that besides my own. Thank you so much for letting everyone know.
For everyone reading, writing, and sharing our love for Sarah, I'm writing too and will be posting it to my blog - lookatmelookaway.blogspot.com
Thank you for the kind words, Mr. Smith. I felt it was my obligation--since I was her student, and since she profoundly influenced my experience here at William and Mary--to say something about the impact she had on this campus. She will be remembered for her enthusiasm, her devotion to her work, and her availability and helpfulness to her students. She will be remembered for her nervous little laugh, her engaging discussions, and her wit. I miss her tremendously.
I did not know of Sara Hammond before today but from all that I've read she clearly was an amazing human being. My thoughts are with her family and loved ones.
Sarah, an old friend of hers who introduced us, and I were all in grad school together. I was deeply saddened when I heard of her death. My memories of her are of a vibrant, laughing, intense woman who cared deeply about people and ideas.
I knew Sarah as a girl; attended her parent's church when I was an Oberlin undergrad. Although we never knew each other as adults, we have many common points in our lives: oldest daughter of a preacher, Yale (graduate midwifery for me), passionate progressive Lefty Christian, long interest in feminist theology and church history, the list goes on and on. When I heard the news last night from another former member of her parents' church, I was stunned. Of course I'd always hoped that we would run into each other sometime, but didn't take any initiative. Now I'm even more saddened to learn from y'all (yes, I'm now in the South) how much I think we would have truly enjoyed each other. My heart and prayers go out to Steve, Mary, Rachel, Grace, David T, and all those I don't know who were closer to her and reeling from this tragedy. I am so sorry.